Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Final Verdict: Success or Failure?

I'm pretty sure today's, "Cat and Girl" mocks me.

Well, I didn't succeed in even writing half the months' posts. I suppose that's a triumph of doing nothing... or something....

As it turns out, that doing nothing for 30 days was a ridiculous amount of time to be doing nothing for, especially when one has responsibilities, family, a husband, and growing bed sores to pay attention to. After a measly week I actually started doing things (things other than writing this blog, apparently). And once I got the ball rolling, it was hard to stop.

I cleaned the house. I took things to the thrift. I found drapery cord to replace the drapes that had been broken for likely over 6 months. Took the car for repairs, cooked a giant chili, started a script, drew a picture of a football player pole dancing, and actually washed the dishes. I was in over my head.

After all that shame I couldn't bear to look at this blog.

But, that's all going to change, because I'm here to announce that I'm launching my, "30 days of doing all the things while eating vegetables everyday challenge"!

No. Haha. Just... no.

I'd like to thank any of you who stuck around, read this out of boredom one night, or accidentally clicked this on Facebook when their hand slipped in an attempt to enlarge a picture of a funny cat. This whole thing started out partly because due to life circumstances doing nothing was about the only thing I could succeed at, and partly because I wanted to poke fun at people who spend all their free time on the internet (me). I got a little derailed along the way, but it was still a good experience. I know it sounds disingenuous as I've spend the last 15 days abandoning post, but I'm really grateful that you bothered to read this at all.

I mean, you guys must be bored out of your minds to spend all that time re-


Saturday, February 23, 2013

Turtle, the Incredible Journey.

look into the eyes!

As a no-good do-nothing sloth, I have spent many hours watching movies on Netflix. Over the course of my research I accidentally happened across Turtle: the Incredible Journey.

Turtle: the Incredible Journey is a film that contains all the thrill of Jaws, all the fantastic imagery of Life of Pi, the educational value of wiring a David Attenborough box set directly into your cerebral cortex, the tense action of The Perfect Storm, and a subtle but pleasantly noticeable form of high-brow comedy. If you have Netflix, I highly suggest you watch it.

I will go into more detail later in this article, but first, here's writer and filmmaker Douglas Ferguson to explain the intricate workings of the masterpiece that is Turtle: the Incredible Journey.

As you may have gathered, while regular, boring, movies may contain varying percentages of action, adventure, romance, comedy, tragedy, fantasy, and what have you; Turtle, the Incredible Journey has it all.

Here is a pie chart comparison of a recent popular films pathetic content versus the iconic masterwork that is Turtle:

Pales in comparison.
Words cannot speak highly enough of this film.

As you can see, Turtle: the Incredible Journey is so incredible that it somehow manages to break the very laws of mathematics.

Turtle: the Incredible Journey is a film for everyone. The young can enjoy following the turtle in her epic journey, the old can enjoy Miranda Richardson's comforting British accent soothing away the pains of their lonely existence, hipsters can enjoy the film ironically, and scholars can appreciate Turtle for its fine educational quality. Even my own mother, who walked out of Fantastic Mr. Fox within the 1st 5 minutes because it, "was offensive" could not help but enjoy Turtle: the Incredible Journey.

I hope you have been convinced of this films magnificence and will be giving it a watch shortly.

Until next time, I bid thee well, my sweet puddings!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Offline Nothing, Day of Photography

As some of you may know, I purchased a DSLR back in 2012, several months after some idiot with more time on their hands than brains decided to steal my half-broken Olympus Stylus-300 with state-of-the-art 3.1 megapixel imaging; stylish, dented-beyond-belief casing design; and revolutionary camera-doesn't-even-turn-on-unless-you-know-the-secret-workaround functionality.

Rest in peace, little buddy.

Let me tell you, buying a DSLR and hoping I would take pictures as good as I did with the Olympus right off the bat was about as stupid as thinking that because I could drive a regular car in automatic, I could drive a stick-shift Ferrari. I'd have some moments where things worked out by magic and I got the thing going a nice pace, but more often than that, I'd probably...




Mind you I did have some good shots, but most of the time when I would grasp the DSLR in my cold, tiny-Asian fingers, all common sense for photography would go out the window. As if having a DSLR meant that at any moment, my shot might vanish, and so I would have to just center the target and shoot as quickly as possible in a panicked frenzy.

Given that I am an artist and a perfectionist, this has led me to mostly letting my camera sit on the shelf. But today! Ah, glorious - Vancouver, rainy - today! Today I decided to do something about it.

So, in true dedication to the spirit of 30 days of doing nothing, I decided I would wander around a few hours in the wet downtown core with my camera to see what I might see.

The shots I took are magnificent.

Children playing in the rain.
Sun breaking through clouds.
A flower cart shines out in the gloom.

No wait, they aren't, because I didn't take any. (You can stop staring at the blank spaces now, it's not a Magic Eye).

I wandered around for over an hour and took a grand total of 0 pictures. Heck, I didn't even take my camera out of the bag. If that isn't a case of successfully doing nothing of use in a day, I don't know what is.

Until next time, when I may just be explaining to you why, "Turtle, the Incredible Adventure" is the best film of all time.


Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Day 16: Tips for Getting Back on the Proverbial Horse

I've been so busy on Google, Pinterest, and Netflix lately that I haven't been able to keep up with the rigorous schedule of posting one useless short update per day. Hopefully, if you've been following along with the spirit of the 30 day challenge this lack of posts hasn't fazed you one bit, and you haven't even noticed the passage of time. My hat goes off to you!

Still, when one falls off the horse, there is only one thing to do. Have a nice restful nap on the spot, and then get back to riding!

Do not forget to rehydrate your horse as well.

One of the ways I get back to riding is by watching the ever informative Trouble Hacking videos by Drew Cleary. As you can see, whether you have a clog in your drain, mold in your iPhone, or have lost some sweet apricots, he's got the solution.


Another thing I like to do to focus my energies is to read blogs about focusing my energies. I'm not sure that it does much, but boy do I ever always feel inspired! Here's an excerpt from the blog talking about focus:
"The final piece in the motivational puzzle is direction. If focus means having an ultimate goal, direction is having a day-to-day strategy to achieve it. A lack of direction kills motivation because without an obvious next action we succumb to procrastination. An example of this is a person who wants to have a popular blog, but who spends more time reading posts about blogging than actually writing articles."
I can't put my finger on it, but I'm so feeling this for some reason. It's like... they were speaking right to my soul! Uncanny.

Well, I hope that helped you get motivated and back on track with the program. That's all for today, bye bye!